More than a Moment

Can I be real with you? I think I can. I mean, if you are taking the time out of your hectic schedule to read my thoughts, I think that we must have some kind of connection for you to be here. So...if I may, I'm going to go there.
It comes as no secret that I do not intend to stay single all of my life. In fact, I have been running this leg of the race a lot longer than I ever anticipated. I thought for sure that by this time in my life, I would be happily settled down in a nice house, with a nice man, and a nice set of children. Well....I live in a nice garage apartment, where a nice man will come and fix my stuff if it gets broken or I have an outbreak of ants running a muck (thanks, Jeff) and I have a wonderful and sweet dog-ter, Daisy. Not exactly the same, right?
Today, no matter where you look, you are reminded that it is, in fact, Mother's Day. Commercials, news reporters, church, the feed on Facebook, Betty White on SNL (which was horrid, by the way) and yes, even the hibachi chef at Osaka was wishing everyone a Happy Mother's Day today.
Don't get me wrong. I love my mother, my grandmothers and the great-grandmother that I was so blessed to know for over twenty-five years of my life. I don't want to even begin to imagine my life without their incredible impact and the lessons that they have taught me. For a few brief moments today, I found myself throwing a mini-pity party saying, "When will I get to be celebrating this day and have little ones making me things and loving on me and......."
Those brief moments of sadness and longing were brought to an abrupt halt because I think that it is by no coincidence that I am currently smack-dab in the middle of Beth Moore's So Long Insecurity, You've Been a Bad Friend to Us. Those pity-parties were nothing but my biggest enemy speaking lies of loneliness, bitterness, untruths and insecurity into my heart and my head.
I have come to accept my season of singleness. I actually embrace the fact that I did NOT get married young because that would have most certainly brought pain and hurt that I would never wish on anyone. I know that I am in the place that I am for a reason. (I almost said "still" in there, but I know that I am not in the same place that I was 10 years ago as I was graduating college, 5 years ago as I was preparing to make a life-altering move to Virginia and I am even not in the same place that I was a few months ago, praise the Lord!) I have been growing deeper in relationship with the Lord over the past few years and I honestly believe that God is preparing me for something HUGE....while I don't know what that is, I know that I don't want to rush Him because my reference of time and His are a whole lot different. :)
So even as I had a few moments today of being sad that I haven't been able to give my parents grandchildren yet, that I haven't yet found the man that God has intended for me to marry (or maybe I have and God is still working on both of us) or that I felt like I was missing out on some critical part of being a woman, I know that I know that I know, God has it all worked out. I am not going to sit around wishin' and a-hopin'....I'm going to be believing and receiving.
God, there are many parts of my past that have molded me into the woman that I am. You knew about each and every single one of those people, events and things have have brought me here today long before they happened. Instead of allowing those things that have brought out a sense of insecurity in my life to take hold and bring me down, Lord, I ask that you free me from the bondage of my past. You make all things new. You have set me free. Take my hand, Lord, and guide me down the path of freedom and security in You and You alone. Do not allow me to look for acceptance from others. You love me, You accept me, You created me to be exactly who I am. I believe in You. I trust in You. In you, I am secure. Let these reminders not last for just a moment or a chapter in a book, but for a lifetime of being secure in You.