Take My Breath Away and Give Me Supernatural CPR!

"Okay, Mom...I have to go finish the reading for my Bible study..."
"Oh, okay. The Bad Girls of the Bible?"
"No. The Beth Moore one."
"Right. The So Long Insecurity one?"
"No. The Believing God one."
"Lindsay, how many studies are you in?"
"Ummm, three."

I know, I know...it even sounds crazy to me. I'm leading the "So Long Insecurity" one and have been going to another church for the "Believing God" one for about six weeks. The "Bad Girls" one just started last week.
So, why so many studies? Well, let me tell you. I never really opened a Bible to read it, to study it until the tail end of my twenties. I had one, I think, on a shelf in my room, but it wasn't something that we took along to church, wasn't something that I referenced for myself if I wanted to know more after any given Sunday...it just wasn't part of the culture that I was raised in. We would hear readings from the Bible, both Old and New Testament, but we weren't encouraged to do any reading or studying on our own.
When I moved to Culpeper nearly 5 years ago, God rocked my world in a HUGE way by planting people in my path to lead me through the doors of Mountain View Community Church. It just so happened that they were meeting at Emerald Hill Elementary School that week because the stage was being waxed at Culpeper County High School. The pastor came out in full fishing gear and I honestly cannot tell you one word about his sermon, other than the fact that the had a kayak on the stage and was talking about fishing. It was weird. (At least to me in my limited experience with a church that did not have readings, communion or hymnals.) After a month (or longer, I don't really remember) I went back. This time, they were in their "normal" worship space. Something about this experience made me feel like I had come home. My friend introduced me to the family that was leading the Singles' Bible study and they invited me to come to their house that week. So I jumped in and have never looked back.
Fast forward 4+ years and you will still find me involved with the Singles' group and feeling a calling for involvement in women's ministry. I feel like I lost so many years of studying the Bible that I am trying to play catch-up...but I know that it's not a race or a game where God is concerned. He loves me just as I am and will meet me wherever I am, He just won't let me stay there very long. I also know that because I am becoming more involved in Kingdom work, Satan is on the prowl. He just loves to tell me lies. He can't read my mind, but he does know what has caused me to stumble and doubt in the past. How do I protect myself from these attacks? The more of God's word that I am able to believe, the more of it I am able to speak. If I am inhaling the word of God, I can also exhale His word by sharing with others and renouncing Satan. The more time I am spending reading His word, the more His word is alive and active in me! (That one is not my own...I stole it from Beth Moore.)
I have recently been struggling with something that just leaves me feeling broken, defeated, and alone. It's been there for quite a while, so I know without a shadow of a doubt that Satan has been dumpster diving through my trash to use it against me. (again, that one is Beth's) Until today. I realized TODAY that I have been fed lies by that evil, slimy, repulsive serpent. He has been using my very own prayers against me. He knows how to sucker punch! He knows how to get me in the gut and try to knock me out for the count. Guess what? AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN! My God told me otherwise! I am loved, blessed, chosen, adopted, accepted, redeemed, and forgiven. How do I know? Ephesians 1:3-8 says so!
God has also told me, "You are not alone, dear one! I am here. I am your rock. I am your comfort. I am your strength. I am your Prince. I am all you need. Find rest in Me." I know that because He spoke it into my heart while I was spending time with Him in His word.
I'm still not sure that I answered the question of why so many studies. God can speak through one just fine...but for this season, I need His word like I need air. I feel like I need to inhale as much as I can get. (Good thing, because the Bible is God-breathed. Don't believe me? See 2 Timothy 3:16.) :)