Years ago, if I would have heard someone say that they were under the attack of the enemy, I would have probably thought that they were crazy and were one of "those" Jesus freaks. I am very glad to say that I am now one of those "freaks" myself.
I have learned so much about God and his amazing love for me ever since moving to Culpeper. It is without a shadow of a doubt that he closed doors in PA in order to nudge me in the direction where I have taken up current residence. It is the strangest thing for me to explain. I know how long it takes me to drive back to PA to visit family and friends. I see the 250-ish miles on a map, yet it doesn't feel like it is that far away....except when I haven't been there for a long time. I keep in close contact with my parents and I think that that lifeline is part of why it doesn't seem so far.
Anyway, back to me being a freak. :) (Some of my friends would agree with that 100%, but not for the reasons I have in mind.) God is up to something big in my life and while I have no idea what it is, (and quite frankly would love to be able to look into some magic mirror to see exactly what it He is up to so I can understand why I'm going through the trials that I am) I very certain it IS big because of the attacks I have been feeling from the enemy. When God is moving and doing things through us, we are drawn closer to Him and that is when the enemy will do anything and everything he possibly can to derail us, to trip us up, to take our focus off of our Creator for just ONE SECOND so that we loose that intent focus of glorifying God and doing work to advance His Kingdom.
I know that I haven't handled everything that I've been faced with in the best ways and most glorifying to God. In fact, I think I owe some people apologies for how I acted towards them in the past months. But lately, God has been showing me a lot and I've been hearing from Him more than I think I ever have in my entire life. While driving to work in the morning, I will have these thoughts travel through my brain that could ONLY be coming from Him...and they are glorious. Little golden nuggets or "Kisses from the King" as I learned in a Bible study over the summer. He loves me! He loves each and everyone one of us and He wants to be in direct communication with each of us. He yearns to be in a relationship with us. For years, I had no idea what that meant, or what it looked like. While I don't think am I anywhere close to understand the vastness of what that means, I am hearing Him. I am being drawn close and in those moments, those quiet, peaceful, most holy times, I feel complete. I feel at peace. I feel at home....and then something distracts me. Hmmmm....wonder who that could be? Who could possibly want to interrupt those holy moments between me and God? Who would want to keep me from basking in the glory and love of my maker?
Yep. You've got it. My biggest enemy is one who feeds me lies. Tells me things like I'm never going to be good enough. No one would want to love me the way that I deserve to be loved. I have made bad choices in my life and they cannot be forgiven, so I will suffer for those mistakes for the rest of my life. I am going through these trails and things that are stressing me out and causing my life to be chaotic because I deserve to be treated badly and dumped on. Have you heard these same lies whispered in your ear? Especially when no one is around?
What I can tell you is this: Every single thing listed in the above paragraph is A LIE. In my heart of hearts, I know that. But you know, when you are down and feeling defeated, it's a little harder to get back up....and that is exactly where the enemy wants you to be. He might even feed you more lies of things to do to make you feel better....things, of course that are not of God and things that are not pleasing to Him. Things that will continue to put a wedge between you and God and pull you away from His plan.
Just recently, I realized that this was exactly what was going on in my own life. When I was having a great day, a great night of closeness with God....I came home to an attack. Sure, it was through another person, but I recognized the root of that attack the next day. Satan was trying to use people in my life to draw me away from the closeness I was feeling to God. Thankfully, a Godly friend and sister in Christ was able to help me realize exactly what was going on. I spent 20 some hours miserable, mad, frustrated, etc. until it became clear to me that the enemy was trying to distract me from something great that I was involved in over the weekend. So...I quickly said, "Nope...not going to happen." IMMEDIATELY, I felt as if a ton of bricks had been removed from my back. As soon as I recognized what was going on and renounced the enemy's claim on my happiness and work for the Lord, he left me alone.
The most important thing to know is that he is always lurking around, looking for an "in." All he needs is a crack....he's a weasel, snake, whatever kind of sneaky creature you want to use, and he will do anything he can to come in and wreak your moments of joy in the Lord. He will even pose as a friend, someone who will be with you in your time of need, someone who will console you and comfort you.....away from God.
FYI---I don't need any "frienemies." You aren't welcome here.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Who do budget cuts really harm?
When I came home from kindergarten, I would line up all of my Care Bears, Cabbage Patch Kid dolls, and my younger brother on the couch for a recreated lesson of what we learned in school that day. I had a little chalkboard that I would prop up against the wall to practice our printing and math problems. I would ask my teacher for “extras” of the papers we did in class so that I could use them for my classroom at home. I always cared about my students, taught them to the best of my ability and no one ever failed. (My brother might have been sent to the principal’s office for misbehaving every once in a while, though.)
Over twenty-five years later, I am still teaching. There is something to be said to living your life’s dream and making those dreams a reality. What I didn’t expect though, is what is happening in education right now.
I know we are facing tough times and nearly every business is suffering because of the economic state that our country is in. We’ve all seen the headlines and read the newspapers that there just isn’t enough money to fund everything that needs funding. My question is this: How are we serving the future and equipping the children of tomorrow to better themselves? Increased class sizes, less para-educators and support staff may sound like the “best-case” scenario, but that will take the attention of the classroom teacher further away from the struggling students who most need their support and guidance in these utmost important and formative years.
As a teacher, I am still going to teach regardless of if I have 15 or 35 students in my classroom. I am still going to teach regardless if I have the needed para-educators in my collaborative special education class. I am still going to teach regardless of if I get a raise. I am still going to teach if my insurance costs go up. I am still going to teach.
But are my students still going to learn everything that they need to be successful? Are my students getting the best education possible? Are my students being prepared to be the most effective and efficient adults that they can be? Are my students still challenged to make a difference? Are my students being pushed towards excellence? Are my students being taught at home AND at school that they hold the key to their future? Are my students benefiting from budget cuts?
Over twenty-five years later, I am still teaching. There is something to be said to living your life’s dream and making those dreams a reality. What I didn’t expect though, is what is happening in education right now.
I know we are facing tough times and nearly every business is suffering because of the economic state that our country is in. We’ve all seen the headlines and read the newspapers that there just isn’t enough money to fund everything that needs funding. My question is this: How are we serving the future and equipping the children of tomorrow to better themselves? Increased class sizes, less para-educators and support staff may sound like the “best-case” scenario, but that will take the attention of the classroom teacher further away from the struggling students who most need their support and guidance in these utmost important and formative years.
As a teacher, I am still going to teach regardless of if I have 15 or 35 students in my classroom. I am still going to teach regardless if I have the needed para-educators in my collaborative special education class. I am still going to teach regardless of if I get a raise. I am still going to teach if my insurance costs go up. I am still going to teach.
But are my students still going to learn everything that they need to be successful? Are my students getting the best education possible? Are my students being prepared to be the most effective and efficient adults that they can be? Are my students still challenged to make a difference? Are my students being pushed towards excellence? Are my students being taught at home AND at school that they hold the key to their future? Are my students benefiting from budget cuts?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
